HI! I'm back!

Okay, this is a really random post.. considering I haven't blogged in months. 

I know I love a lot of people (lol) but I decided that I'm going to marry Matthew Gray Gubler (Charlie Hunnam or Steven Yeun hehe).

The more I watch him, the more I fall in love. Haha. 

Isn't he just so precious?!??!?! I could've chosen a better picture/gif but I love this one of him.

I usually get one of 3 reactions when I "introduce" him to my friends:

1. (most of the time) "You would. He's tall, skinny, white, and dirty looking. Exactly your style."

2. "Whatever makes you happy."

3. "Is that Dr. Reid from Criminal Minds?"

Anyways, I decided I should get back into blogging. After looking at my friends new blog, it motivated me... somewhat. Haha. At least they blog about interesting things and here I am blogging about how I'm going to marry Matthew. Ridiculous. 

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Hmmm.. what have I been up to the past 5 months?

- Went to Florence and Rome during Thanksgiving. Fell in love all over again. Going back to Italy really made me appreciate all the art, beauty, and magic that Italy has to offer. Dying to go back.

- Cars Land. Yay!

- Met Ryan Hurst again. Yay!

- Life was utterly ruined by The Hobbit. J.R.R.Tolkien and Peter Jackson, why must you guys be sooooo talented at what you do?! All my high school LOTR feels came back ten fold and fucked me over real good. (I love LOTR with all my heart, I welcome anyone else who does as well to be mah fran. Lol.)

- Spent hours on a LOTR family tree site. Over 900 characters on that family tree and the guy who compiled it all is pretty damn amazing. (I will only admit that I did this on my blog. Please don't judge.)

- Candy crush happened. I finally quit tho, but I still play for my friends if they are stuck on a certain level. That is how I get my candy crush fix.

- Saw FM on Wednesday. Felt so good to see the oppas again. 

Uh.. is it kinda pathetic that those were the 7 things that popped into my head? Sad. There are a few more things worth writing about but too lazy. 

Going to sleep now because allergies are killingggggg me. 

Toodles!

:(

Went to JJs funeral today.

Seeing Nathan standing there crying his eyes out just messed me up real bad.

I lost it.

So emotionally drained.

Goodnight.

Dear...

JJSS,

Wow. I don't know what to say. Coming home last night to find out through facebook that you are gone was just horrible. I couldn't believe it. I still am in denial.. actually. I keep going on your fb waiting for you to post something saying how this is just some sick joke but then I see all the messages  that people are leaving for you... all the people you have helped and impacted... and realize that you really are gone.

Thank you. Thank you, for EVERYTHING. You probably don't even realize it.. but every single person that walks out of Sigma, comes out a changed person. Never biased. Never judgmental. I still remember all the live lessons and advice you gave me.. and I try to follow them everyday. All the time and energy you have sacrificed for your students and me have definitely impacted all of us.. I wish that I could be half the person you were. Thank you again for your endless love and support and being patient with me. I know I was difficult.

Sorry, that I never kept my promises. It was because I was embarrassed and ashamed. You encouraged me and tried your best to help me all throughout high school. Well.. I did make it though. I made it to UCLA like you wanted! I just never pulled through. I felt like I failed you and compared to my cousin and sm, I'm just going on a different path... a more unconventional path.. and YOU out of all people are the epitome of unconventional haha. I'm sure you understand! I avoided you because... I thought that there would be a time... where I would just waltz into your office and brag to you about all the things I have accomplished and then I would take you out for some jjajjangmyun and you can tell me about all your new students and how much you miss the one and only tag team... but I guess I can't do that now.

Last few things I must remind you of..
You were supposed to sing at my wedding! I was supposed to marry your son LOL and if that didn't work out, you were supposed to set me up with a namja! Man.. I miss your corny jokes. I'll miss all the times you made fun of my satoori and sang songs because you wanted to be a singer (I don't think I told you enough.. you really do have a great voice!). Sorry for sticking stickers of the tag teams face all over your pencil case and sabotaging your office with paper clips. Pen poop FTW and I'll never live down you telling random students that I look like Winona Ryder LOL WTF?!

You told EVERY single student to make you a legend.. but you already are one JJ.
Miss you dearly.
Rest in peace.

invincibility complex

My invincibility complex and all the delusions I had about youth, life, and etc are slowly being shattered. What a year.

용서를 하고 싶어도 왜 이렇게 안될까?

short update.

My life has been torn apart by my feelings and The Avengers.

R.I.P

I should've written about this sooner but just didn't get around to it. Kept myself distracted but now that things have settled down here I go...

Two people I know were victims in university shooting in Oakland. One of them, I was not that close to but we met a few times and I knew her brother cause we used to work together. The other victim, I actually haven't seen her for a while but nevertheless, she left quite an impression and some great memories. <3

I felt some sort of guilt while I was in Korea and first found out about all this. Was very shocked and didn't want to believe it. This is another reason why I stopped posting pictures and whatnot on FB (kept it to instgram and twitter since only a handful of people follow those) while in Korea because it felt wrong that I was having fun while everyone else back home was suffering. It finally hit me about 2 days after I heard the news. I remember waking up in the hostel and started crying. I'm sorry that I wasn't here to pay my respects. Rest in heavenly peace Grace and to all the other victims who lose their lives.

Somberness

Here we go all over again. I HATE this feeling but it's inevitable. Tonight is my last night in Korea and the feeling of leaving the place... having to say, "until next time...." sigh. Good food, company, and memories. If I could travel every day for the rest of my life, I would in a heartbeat but the leaving aspect part of all this kills me. Just knowing that once I step off that plane, routine starts all over again but I know that this is what makes these trips that much more special. Any place I travel to, I ALWAYS end up in a full blown melancholy rut. It's routine now but I eventually get over it. Just ends up motivating me more to work and study harder so I can reward myself and save up for another trip to who knows where. Tonight, after we had our last meeting with a few friends, my body finally gave in. This always seems to happen. You run on adrenaline and then on the last night/day you mentally just give up. You begin to realize what being tired really is.. physically and mentally. As much as I feel and thnk otherwise, I am ready to go back home. Until next time Korea. PAEYYYCEEEEEE.

So...

I kept it to myself for a while but now that it's out in the open..

YES, NORMAN REEDUS FOLLOWS ME ON TWITTER AND DMed ME! **sobs**
I know that he does the same for the fans he follows.. but damn, I guess he liked my tweet or some shit. I must've done something right by quoting him.. haha mollah. Anyways, it was unexpected and a wonderful surprise. Thank you Sir Norman Reedus for making me so happy <3 I knew there was a reason why you were one of my favorite characters ;)

                                                       SHO CUTEEE! <3

STEVEN YEUN & NORMAN REEDUS AT IMAGE EXPO :D

I woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday to go see me some Daryl and Glenn. My two favorites from The Walking Dead <3 I actually wasn't going to go because I told myself that I refuse to pay for just ONE of them and not see the other, it was either both or nothing!!! Eventually, I got talked into going and paid for it.. which was totally worth it btw and then some.

After work, Friday, Jerilyn and I went to Walmart and Daiso to buy some goodies for the boys. Decided to add some VIP crown headbands last minute. Made some bootleg hellokitty tags for the bags and wrote little love notes along with our twitter names haha shameless plug.

As soon as we arrived to the convention center, we got our badges and while we were walking to the end of the line Norman Reedus just walked by us and it was so magical. Lol. Only thing going through my head was.. "HE IS REAL!!!!!!" We walked to the walking dead table so I could buy book 1 and 2 of TWD. While I was paying, I turned around and guess who was right there.. NORMANNN!!! Made eye contact, got scared, turned away and was giggling inside. His stares are so intense! Anyways, we then got in line for the meet and greet. Long story short: I swear, American celebs are the best! <3 Norman and Steve were both so unbelievably sweet and the good thing was we were not rushed at all. Took our time with both guys. Got hugs and kisses from Norman and got one of the best hugs of my life from Steve <3 Some beautiful "banter" was exchanged lolllll. I secretly filmed it by putting my phone on my badge and it's on youtube.. but on private so if you wanna see it let me know ;) I'll send ya a link! While walking away from the meet and greet table, Jerilyn and I were HYSTERICAL. Laughing out loud, slightly shaking, and almost crying. Didn't know I would ever act like this but... it happened.

After the meet and greet we eventually ran into them again. They both were carrying the bags and said thank you again. **tear**

A few hours later, we managed to get tickets to the 'talking dead' panel! The boys were late and then made their grand entrance with a stink bomb and those poppers. Hilarious. 1 hour flew by so quickly :(
At the end of the panel, everyone was leaving so we made our way to the front and I got my selca with Norman <3

Everyone went back downstairs to the main expo room. Right before the expo was over for the day, we  'met' up with them again and that's where I got my selca with steve and another one with norman <3 GAHHHH they're so sweet and nice. I can't get over it.

Okay, I know I'm missing some details but too lazy to write everything out.

Off I go back into my Norman/Steve dream world. Toodles!!!!!!!!!!

w/ one of the bags we gave them and the crown heh heh heh

when norman was looking at the picture he said, "he's looking at you with love in his eyes" HAHA <3